Caring and in Control

As my first post, I would like to begin with something that is foundation to a lot of issues that I struggle with as a first year teacher. I know that my purpose as a teacher is to facilitate my student's learning. In order for this to happen I feel that two things must happen. First, my students must know that I care about them and second, I must remain in control.

I believe the old saying "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." I know that most people are are thinking "What's in it for me?" I think this is also true for my high school students. Many students are much more willing to learn from me after they learn how much I care about them and their learning of the material. For example, I was hired mid-year to teach at a small high school in north east Texas. My first day I could have started teaching, we were already behind most schools. I decided, instead, to spent the day talking to my new students and finding out things about them. Their interests, their goals, what they liked about teachers and what they didn't like about teaching. In addition to giving me valuable knowledge about them, I also sent a message that I care about them. This has set a nice tone for the rest of the school year.

Another example is a few weeks ago I announced my goal that 100% of my students pass the end of year TAKS test. When announcing that goal I also felt that it was important to explain why. The reason that I announced is because I want 100% of them to graduate. I believe that if my reason was for me to look like a great teacher, that would have shown and my students would have responded very differently to the goal.

Along with being liked, it is important not to loose control of my class. When I was in high school I had teachers who wanted to be liked, or feared being disliked so bad that they lost control of their class. My high school Spanish teacher comes to mind. There was another student in that class who had more control over the class because he would persuade her to do whatever he wanted. If she got angry and was going to give him a detention, he would talk his way out of it. If there was homework that was going to be assigned he would try to talk her out of it. I don't want to be like this teacher, because if I loose control of the class then I have lost the learning environment and my purpose for being a teacher.

These two desires often come in conflict for me. For example when a student doesn't do a homework assignment, I want to be caring and ask them why they didn't do their homework and then make a decision based on their response. If they didn't do it because they didn't understand it, then I help them understand it. If they didn't do it because they didn't have time, then I penalize them. I do this because I care more about them than the assignment. The problem with this is my students have spent years figuring out teachers and may say they didn't understand it even if they were just being lazy. I will talk more about my struggle trusting students later.

Another example of when these two desires come in conflict is when a student is acting up. I know that I don't know everything that is going on in these students lives. I know that they may have just had a bad break up with a significant other or experiencing problems at home. I try to be understanding because I care about them, but this kind of thinking makes it difficult for me to discipline. I usually just pull students out of the classroom and talk to them privately. We also agree on a consequence if it happens again.

Maybe one reason why this is so difficult for me is because I struggle with the fear of others not liking me. Maybe this is the foundation of wanting my students to like me. I don't know. I do know that I have a desire to be caring and in control and sometimes it is difficult for me to do both.